Healing In America

WorkingRobert2   If there has ever been a time for healing in America, now is the time.  If you take a snapshot of all the controversial issues that dwell in the news today, America is on the pathway to a relationship implosion, whether through the family, communal, societal, or national. Whether it bounds around the issue of race, gender, marital status, class, or professional status, we all must start towards healing from our historical separatist society.  Let’s take note of the recent issues at hand: The comments made by Harry Reid and Rob Blajovich concerning President Obama, the Tiger Woods situation, the country’s split reaction to the Health Care Reform Bill, and most recently, the Jesse James situation. As a result, there seem to be an extraordinary amount of apologies that are coming before the media all due to the fact that people are unsure of how to express themselves without having the negative connotations associated with today’s media attention from allegedly offending other people. These incidences along with the media’s reaction to them clearly show that we must come to a better understanding of each other so that we can create healthy relationships and begin to move this country forward from its potentially  disempowering, paralyzing history.

In order for healing to start to take place, people that are involved must first face the reality of the situation and own up to their part of what caused the situation in the first place.  So if we are talking about health care, we must look at the cause of why there are people in this country without health care and what has caused it over the years.  This issue alone is a clear demonstration that the nation as a whole is hurting and needs to be healed.  If we are talking about the overdose of recent extramarital affairs, in order for those relationships to heal, each party involved must be able to own up to their contribution to the breakdown of the relationship.  The news media will angle the story as one being the monster or the guilty perpetrator and the other as the innocent victim.  But in truth, both parties are responsible for the breakdown in the relationship.  However, the responsibility is not necessarily equal.  In some cases, the responsibility may be 50-50.  In other cases, it may be 95-5.  This is in many cases equivalent to what the media considers the innocent victim situation.  Let’s specifically look at the situation with Jesse James and Sandra Bullock.

Here is Jesse James, the owner of West Coast Choppers who is married to Sandra Bullock, famous actress who recently won the Oscar for Best Actress from the movie, The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock, who is considered, “the girl next door star” has found her acting career at an all time high with a seemingly blemish-free image that America seems to love dearly.  But outside of being a former Texas cheerleader in high school, very little is known about her, which is a tribute to her for keeping her personal life out of the limelight.  Then there is Jesse James who fame has come from building motorcycles and his most recent appearance on the Apprentice. He is a quiet, laid back guy who somehow due to his dress and appearance has taken on a “bad boy” image.  Now there are allegations that Jesse James has had extramarital affairs with as many as four other women.  US Weekly has plastered him with the headline, “Married to a Monster.”  People magazine has victimized Sandra Bullock with the headline, “Inside Sandra’s Heartbreak.”  The Hollywood entertainment community promotes it as the highlight of her career overshadowed by her husband’s scandal and her personal life now laid out in magazines.  Needless to say, the ladies involved in contributing to this affair are immediately demoralized by the media and setup for 15 minutes of fame only to be tossed out once the damage has been completed.  This is made obvious when the first question from the media is “Will she divorce him?” But is this situation all on Jesse James?  Is it possible that Sandra Bullock could have something to do with what Jesse James did?  Did she neglect him or verbally abuse him in some way? My point earlier was that if it comes to a broken relationship, it is a result of the contributions of both parties.  Now by no means am I suggesting that this situation is a 50-50 contribution.  Also by no means am I trying to justify what Jesse allegedly did. This has the signs of a 95-5 contribution (95% Jesse James, 5% Sandra Bullock).  We as a society can only speculate, but we don’t know.  The point I am trying to make is to pray that they will be able to heal, because the situation is a travesty for both of them.  But in order for them to heal, each person has to confess to their contribution to the broken relationship.  Whatever Jesse James did to create the mess they are in, he has to confess and repent to Sandra, himself, and to the Lord God the Creator for his wrongdoing (all 95% of it if that is truly the case).  Then Sandra must confess the little (5%) of what she may have done, whether intentionally or subconsciously, to create the broken relationship.  One thing is for certain, this situation did not just occur overnight or just after the Oscars.  This relationship has been manifesting into its broken state for a while.  I hope and pray that the media will relax their stance to allow them to fix it and heal as opposed to driving them straight towards divorce which does not benefit anyone. The same applies for Tiger Woods situation and any other marital relationship that is struggling through some sort of brokenness.

www.robertfnewkirk.com

Speaking at the Boy’s Leadership Conference

Last Friday, I had a wonderful opportunity speaking to a Boy’s Leadership Group at Westfield High School located in Chantilly, VA for their Thanksgiving Luncheon. These were students that when they first came to the high school were not meeting the academic standards and were having behavioral issues. My topic was, “The Essence of Work […]

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Critical Thought #5: The Power of Love

Humility is simply believing and accepting what God says about us, and God says that we are anything but worthless.- Myles Munroe God is love. Love is the divine connection that links all of us together. Love is an attitude of the heart, not just an emotion. The English language extremely limits the vast power […]

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Critical Thought #20: The Essence of Power

When the Power of Love conquers the Love of Power, the world will then find peace. – Jimi Hendrix This week’s critical thinking will focus on the essence of power. Power according to Webster’s Dictionary is defined as “the ability to control or influence someone or something.” This definition is very misleading and I consider […]

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Critical Thought #1: Power of Testimonies

In order to have a testimony, you must first be put through a test! For the longest time, I always wondered why people reacted so emotionally when they stood before an audience and gave a personal testimony. I could empathize with them in what they had gone through, but I couldn’t quite relate directly with […]

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Critical Thought #13: Relationship Between Control & Growth

There is an inverse relationship between control and growth. The more you have control over something, the less it will be able to grow. If two people are in constant struggle to gain control over their relationships, whether they are professional, social, marital, or intimate, the relationship itself will become stymied. As the evolution of […]

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Critical Thought #2: Vote 2009

Vote 2009 Hurray, we voted in Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States! Also, the House of Representatives and the Senate are situated such that the majority of the congressmen are in direct support of the President. That process all took place in November 2008. Our job is complete. We are happy […]

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Critical Thought #18: Blaming and Complaining

The Chu Effect Complaining and justifying will get you no where. It will only aggravate the people around you to where they will not want to be bothered. And it will only deepen your situation. We should all take the vow, ” I will not attempt to blame, complain, or justify my situation to anybody.” […]

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Critical Thought #9 Timing and Positioning

The Chu Effect There are two key elements to life and success: Timing and positioning. It won’t happen in the right place at the wrong time or vice versa. God is responsible for the timing, you are responsible for the positioning.I am an avid believer that everything happens for a reason. The timing is critical […]

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The Chu Effect Series

This week starts up “The Chu Effect” series in regards to our topics associated with critical thinking. These are topics and thoughts presented by Danny Chu, who is the owner of Digipixart Studios in Fairfax, VA. Feel free to check out his website at www investigate this site.digipixart.com. I found most of his positions for […]

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